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How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:29 pm
by In_the_dark
So what do you think....

Nothing smutty(ok, maybe a bit smutty)

heres one to start


A German tourist is wandering through Soho, and he decides to spend some time with a young lady. He choose a girl and after agreeing a price, he follows her to her flat. Once inside he says "I am just ze little bit kinky..I vish you to vear zese! on your hands and feet and bounce on them round ze room" and he produces 4 coil springs much like those found on a car's suspension.

The girl looks puzzled but agrees. Then He produces a Duck call whistle, and says "Please blow this also!"

So the Girl bounces round the room on all fours, blowing the duck call, and the german vigourosly pursues and makes love to her several times during the course of the next hour. They both finally drop from exhustion, and she says " That is no doubt the best sex EVER..what do you call that?


(Ready??)







(Are you sure??)



four sprung duck technique


=))
Dave

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:05 pm
by smerral
=))

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:07 pm
by smerral
Actually I think if someone were to get a video camera and film me secretly as I try to get a capture that would be the biggest joke of all! (although it would have to be censored!) :lol:

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:09 pm
by Dion
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!


What sort of cheese do you use to disguise a horse?

Mascaponi!


yes, cheesy I know

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:10 pm
by Dion
I got invited to a premature ejaculators party last week, I asked if there was a dress code, they said 'no, just come in your pants!'

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:16 pm
by smerral
my my it hasn't taken long for this thread to degenerate! :))

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:37 pm
by In_the_dark
A woman goes in to bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one



and.....

Nelson Mandela is about to sit down with a can of beer to watch South Africa play in the world cup, when the doorbell rings.

He opens the door to see a japanese fella standing in front of a truck.
"I have derivery of Blake pads.....you sign...you sign!"
"I didnt order any Brake Pads, you have the wrong address!" Says Mr. Mandela, and he closes the door to return to the game. Just as he sits down, the doorbell rings again.
This time when he opens the door, there is a diferent Japanese guy, in front of a bigger truck "I have Derivery of Exhorse plipes..You sign..you sign!"

"I didnt order brake pads...or Exhuasts...you have the wrong person!"..Nelson goes back to the game and manages to open his beer when the door goes again...
He opens the door muttering obscenities to find yet another Japanese with an artic.
"Derirvery of splark prugs ..You Sign prease"

"Oh for gods sake...i never ordered ANY car parts...for the last time, you have the wrong address..."

The Japanese looks puzzled and says.................................


(if you thought the duck one was bad........)



so you no nissan maindealer?????????

I'll leave my membership card at the door

Dave

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:40 pm
by In_the_dark
smerral wrote:Actually I think if someone were to get a video camera and film me secretly as I try to get a capture that would be the biggest joke of all! (although it would have to be censored!) :lol:



I aint tried it yet............I reckon old Mr. Beadle would be in his element

Dave

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:42 pm
by smerral
so you no nissan maindealer?????????

Took me 10 secs to get that! That's old age for you! :-s

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:46 pm
by In_the_dark
the wife sat there with a blank expression when i told her.......its the way i tell 'em.....plus i still have a bit of a welsh accent despite living with these Sassanegs

Dave